The "I" project - part two
Old friends are the best friends, right ?
Before the age of social media I would have had no
problem with that concept. For a variety of reasons I'm not so sure anymore.
Sure, some people change and we certainly do. We drift apart and tend to remember them the way they were and can be put off when we reconnect and find they're not the way we expected them to be. Of course this has real life implications too.
I'm hesitant to go into the two groups who spring to mind in this regard. You all probably have similar experiences with old school friends or folks from a place you used to work. Briefly, my high school friends didn't really surprise me but some of of my army buddies did.
I will mention someone who just blew my mind. Our lives crossed about twenty years ago through work. I'll call him Joe (not his name) and he was very good at his job. He was very good at partying like there was no tomorrow too. He was a good father and a good guy. He paid his child support and remained involved to a great extent with his daughter. I never did quit my job to be his partner though he made some good offers, because I thought he was not entirely reliable. Boy did we have some good times and adventures though.
We drifted apart but both of us would occasionally keep in touch somehow. We both got married and when my marriage fell apart he reached out and I went to vist him and meet his new family. It didn't go well. To make a long sad story short I feared for my life before the weekend was over. I didn't want to hurt him or anything but felt it was best to go away as soon as I could. I understood that he was under tremendous stress and he was it seemed having trouble living a different life style. He was always an easygoing, overgrown frat boy and now had a small business, two young boys and a wife that expected him to act like a grown up.
So, I bailed out. I apologized for making him feel uncomfortable and put some miles between us. After about ten minutes I tried to send a more formal apology and explanation to him. I don't think it's okay to throw away old friends over small problems. I guess he didn't feel the same way. I was unfriended, blocked and couldn't even call him. I did snail mail a nice note to him but never got a reply.
I'll admit that there are times that ending a relationship is necessary and appropriate. I have a friend right now who I think should pull the trigger, so to speak, before their significant other hurts them in ways they might never recover from.
I do think that we don't value our relationships like we used to. We don't hold on to them like we really should. Yes, our friends and family will hurt us. They will do inexcusable things as well as things we do enjoy. That's just how things are. Sometimes our friends help get us through trying times and by gosh they ought to be able to rely on us to help them too.
Full Disclosure on the motivation for "part two"
I had a discussion with my oxygen delivery guy yesterday. I noticed the cigarette pack in his pocket and we got to talking. I mentioned, and he agreed that tobacco is like an old friend. Yes it treats us badly, like old friends sometimes do but it's always there for us when we need it. You know ? Like old friends are always there too.
